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marshmellowsex's LiveJournal:
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| Wednesday, November 4th, 2009 | | 8:33 pm |
*gurgle*
I'm engaged not this friday, but the next. He has no home, no job, his car stinks, and my whole family hates him. He is my soulmate and the most beautiful person in the universe. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life, and the rest of eternity with him. All I have to do when I am upset or mad is think of him or hold him close to me and everything around us vanishes. *taps fingers on keyboard* How frustrating. There's loads more to say, but words can't even begin to explain how much we are meant for eachother. He is my air, my drug, my sunshine, my life, my world. My life is finally complete with his beautiful presence..
Please don't take my sunshine away.
Current Mood:  loved | | Sunday, November 1st, 2009 | | 10:53 am |
What the heck?
I went to a Halloween party on Halloween. Logical, no? APPARENTLY NOT. I walk up to the guy outside and The party was on.. The day before Halloween. I was not aware of this because I didn't have access to the internet. Also, I took a friend with me, and she decided to give me a horrible bottle of Passion Pop. aka cheap horrible smelling and tasting champagne. I drunk that 'till it was almost empty and then got a really bad headache and just felt HORRIBLE. I don't drink often at all, not after my 18th. *gags remembering*
I'm going to the coast again, not Newcastle, this one is only 2 hours away and it's only going to be for a couple of days. *falls off bed* I'm so freakin' tired. I woke up at 7 in the morning last night after staying awake till 1 and then had a 7 hour drive back to Canberra, and then had a huge night and went to bed at ungodly hours and woke up at 8am. I'm personally not in the mood to go anywhere at all. Ever. Again. But i'd rather stay home away from this home. Heheheh.
I love Halloween objects. It's like Christmas to me. Every shop now has it's own little slice of "goth" to it. ^___^
I had better clean up a little bit before I have to go. OH MAN I GOT DRAGON BALL Z BED SHEETS FROM KELLY! I just want to say that Dragon Ball Z is the most awesome show in the world, apart from Deathnote, and Kyo Kara Mao.
MMM!!! Time to go. Cleaning that is. I'd probably throw up if I entered a car right now. x_x Bai now! *scampers away* Current Mood:  drainedCurrent Music: Falling Down - Mad Caddies | | Tuesday, October 20th, 2009 | | 10:51 am |
Two long years later..
I feel bad. I do, because I have been with Cal almost 4 years and there hasn't been a problem.. I forgot how mean, horrible I was to him. We're in a strong steady relationship, and we love each other more and more every single day. Tilly passed away a few months ago.. And I have a new puppy, she's 1 year old and her name is "Ivy". She's a papyon x fox terrier. She looks homeless even when I brush her and she has a collar. I finally got a Heartagram tattoo, I hate my family, the problems here are getting worse by the night.
Cal's mother has disappeared down to the coast. Leaving Cal in Canberra homeless, and he can't stay at his friend's anymore so we have to go for a 7 hour drive north near a place called Newcastle just to find somewhere cheap enough.
I keep trying to tell myself "it's not that bad" When it's not just what's happening in the present, it's the past, too. I should be able to get over it and move on, but when something horrible happens every single god damn day, it's too much for me. No one understands that I want to move out to be independant and live my own life for once. I'm sick of being old enough to do whatever the fuck I want and still being told "No." I need my own life and I need it before I figure out there is no life worth trying to have.
I'm sick of feeling ugly and looking in the mirror and seeing how unhappy and fat i've gotten from just not giving a shit anout myself anymore because my life and happiness has been almost non existant. I'm sick of people telling me I can't do this or that, LET ME DECIDE IF I WANT TO DO IT. AND IF IT ACTUALLY IS A MISTAKE, THEN IT'S MY FAULT. I absolutely refuse to live in this house forever and be controlled by a manipulative abusive alcoholic mother. It's NOT my fault that she can't keep her life together, and it's NOT my fault that she has a problem with everything I fucking do in my life that I want to have.
On a different note, Halloween is coming up, and even though it's not celebrated in Australia.. I'm dressing up like Jason Voorhees. ^__^<input ... ><input ... ></input> Current Mood: drainedCurrent Music: Without Emotions - Combichrist | | Wednesday, November 28th, 2007 | | 8:29 am |
O_o
I am leaving to go see them on Friday at 10 am! ek ek ek. That's My Chem again. It should be okay, they throw a pretty rad show. Bah. It's 8 30 and I have to be somewhere in exactly an hour, and i'm not even dressed! I have been writing more in my other journal, obv. Which is a good thing, because I am writing stories and then type them on here and then put them onto a disc and send them away! ek ek ek. It should be fun. I might get back to the Arts Centre to do a few things there. Ooh.. Weirdest thing ever happened when I was at a patry, I met up with my primary school friend! She is so freakin' pretty now. I'm even a wee bit jealous.My room is just how I like it now. There is so many posters up, i'm having to start putting them on my roof! *yawn* I have started waking up really early lately. I suppose it's a good thing, because I get more of the day in to do heaps of things. A few people have annoyed the shit out of me, like Josh. He told Ryry that I was pregnant and I was like, "Well as a matter of fact i'm on my period right now, you moron." Fucking idiot. I want to know where that came from, maybe it's just because he's a pot head and is 'going through a bad stage in his life' I havent spoken to this person in MONTHS. And I don't wish to. Foolish creature. The back of my head is red now =] When it finally gets long again i'm going to go blonde. I miss having my normal hair. Alas, I must get ready for I am still in my jimmy jamms. XD! Current Mood:  frustratedCurrent Music: Famous Last Words - My Chem | | Thursday, October 25th, 2007 | | 12:54 pm |
Rawr. I have been in newcastle for 5 days or something. It was fun while it lasted ^_^
Next thing I have to do is go to a concert in november, then in february, and then off to America for about two months to visit my Anna. =D I so can't wait. It is going to be the best ever. And good to get away from alot of shit around here. I'm really happy to be back home where I can relax. But I don't want to stay here. I love getting away from all the bullshit materialistic faggots. I can't wait for my birthday to go out clubbing and not have to worry about anyone but myself.
It feels refreshing not having anyone there that I have to worry about and feel guilty that i'm not doing shit with them when I have my own friends to worry about. I want to keep my friends.. I've lost alot.. Not that we have had fights but because I havent bothered to make time for them. It's sad and I want to mend a few of them because I do miss alot of my old friends. i'm so tired. I only got back today. Ugh. I want to go to sleeeeeeep but I caaaan't sleep during the day D:
But I want to stop writing in here because I still have alot of un packing and organizing and relaxing. XD
*waves* Current Mood:  sleepyCurrent Music: Breathe - Disturbed | | Sunday, April 22nd, 2007 | | 11:43 am |
Did you know that you can get red bull ice cream?! It tastes sooooo goood. Hmm... I have a Josh! ^_~ He ish the bestest friend ever. I changed my room around...And It looks alot bigger (if that's possible O_o) Tilly is getting really big. &he's on my sholder as i'm typing this XD. Hmm so much for a long update...I have to go out. I might write more later... *waves* Ta taa! Current Mood:  happyCurrent Music: Pulse Of The Maggots - Slipknot. | | Tuesday, April 3rd, 2007 | | 10:31 am |
Free.
I finally got rid of Cal once and for all... I am now wondering what the hell i'm going to do now that I don't have a huge shadow looming over me, limiting everything that I could do... I got rid of my "best friend" forever.
He crossed the line WAY too many times.
I feel guilty...Because he makes me feel this way..
All I need to do now, is forget! ^_^
And I can make new friends without having him all over me, so they think i'm taken and my only life is with him. Bullshit. I hate him.
*sigh* I need to get more credit...
I dyed my hair blonde. =D I quit smoking. I got a corset. I miss my friends. I am sleepy. I am bored. I am in paaain. O_o Current Mood: drainedCurrent Music: Placebo - Drag | | Thursday, March 15th, 2007 | | 11:56 am |
| | 11:52 am |
*Sigh* Some people are fucking loser dick heads that deserve lots of bad stuff to happen to them. *sparks up cigarette* HA FUCKING HA. *sticks finger up* Fuck you, Hunny. Current Mood: bitchyCurrent Music: NIN - Closer | | Tuesday, January 2nd, 2007 | | 10:28 am |
The obvious was too hard to find
This is gonna be a good day. ^_^ I'm doing NOTHING all day =D
I lie... I'm going to clean my room, play barbies with Jasmine, and possibly either go over to Ryan's or me come here.
I can't stop listening to "The Good Gardener (on how he fell)" by Augie March. XD
It's the most bestest song ever because the first time I listened to it, I couldnt believe the lyrics so I looked them up, and it is so...Interesting and peculiar..Not to mention his voice is BRILLIANT. *drools*
Here sits a once good gardener, pale as a shadow of a doubt, Once a happy dweller of a garden good, once a sleepy sinner, once cast out To the sea where the crossy-eyed maids murmur low, "do you see, do you see where the doubts cross his shadow?" Drowned and amoral, I pollinate the coral and reek of the deep where I've tended the water weed - I was once your good gardener, sing to bring on Spring, I know where your good grass grows, I know what your boyfriend knows, I was your good gardener. I saw twilight car waxers, corpulent dog walkers, clean canny couples on the sunset strip, From a tower forty miles to the east of Augusta saw a plague on the Indian a'coming on a windship, You were in the garden when the wind swept up and took the foul words from your mouth Now you know what your sarcasm really really means It's the tearing with your teeth of the flesh from the bones of your brother - Kill the shrub to fertilise the flower, Did I hear you saying that the form doesn't matter? Well form into matter, the matter is forever, but only in a good garden Black rock bound in the Brighton bowl where the seas of desolation roll, Where you're borne and borne and borne in again to the pebble-feather shore of forgotten friends Think how you can't see the science without seeing first the self, But then nobody thinks of growing somebody else, And how the sun , hungry sun, holds the withered withered world, So why shouldn't I kiss the beautiful girl? When I was her good gardener. Sing of the Summer sham, O see them grow tall, see them in their rot, see them go to seed in the cemetery plot I was your good gardener Sing to bring on Spring O ice of Winter would crackle and splinter with my love in everything Ice of Winter would crackle and splinter with my love in everything I was your good gardener... The sea is stark and lovely, and it scares me to the point of rapture I was your good gardener, of some good stature The sea is stark and lovely, and it scares me to the point of rapture I was your good gardener, now I - can barely - look at ya. Current Mood: drained | | Monday, December 18th, 2006 | | 12:06 am |
"Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup"
I write to reflect on the thoughts that were going through my head, but the pages are blank. I grab blankets and bundle myself up in them, yet I still feel cold. Every time I clean something, It gets messier in a matter of seconds. I drink water, bottles at a time, yet i'm only getting more thirsty. I smile at people, but they always frown back. I have no limitations...But I stop at ever corner. There is a conjuring force that motivates us to the next step. Those who are blind can only get a taste of it, Can only feel the matter they desire... But those who are wise can use all the sources and describe to others what those unknown feelings are like. And that's what wonder is. And to the end of our ways, all we can do is share...Without fears or regrets...An endless cycle of the sorrows and uplifting moments we go through. People take the left handed or right handed path...Yet they forget to look inside their own hearts for the greater good. I can not teach anybody anything...I can only make them think. Current Mood:  crappyCurrent Music: Helter Skelter - The Beatles | | Friday, December 15th, 2006 | | 4:24 pm |
YOU'RE a subject.
I got called HILARIOUS things today... I had to wake up at 6 am to catch a bus with Prue and Kelly to civic to drop her at the big bus area...Poor Kelly is STILL on her way home. >.< Then we went into woden to give the LOVELY Sarah her money for the concert, and When we got off the bus, a scary old man approached me and he yelled: "AH YOU'RE A CHIMNEY SWEEP!" My reaction = O_O "Ahaha?!?!?!" Then he swarmed me with a rough hug. Then I went to Jaz's school to film her little play...It was the coldest day of the week, and it was a BEACH theme. so there were all these little half naked kiddies running around with towels. When we were at the playground telling Jaz to come home, a child said to her friend "THAT'S A REAL MAGICIAN!!" It was SO funny, I couldn't breathe. It's amazing what top hats do to the public. | | Monday, August 14th, 2006 | | 1:00 pm |
Picture yourself on a boat on a river...
Ah, Today has been...Dull. Hahaha. I got a green spikey stretcher in my ear! YAY! It hurtses, and is possibly infected...BUT IT'S OK! Cause it's AWESOME.... Yep... I quit smoking. =D Feel like... A cigarette. BUT I AM NOT HAVING ONE! Because there is none... =| La la la la la... I GOT A NEW TOP!!!! AND IT IS GREEN AND BLACK STRIPEY! It is the awesomest...Ness... Current Mood: Meep MOP Moop!Current Music: Ultra Sex - Mindless Self Indulgence | | Sunday, July 30th, 2006 | | 4:59 pm |
Liz falls over in drain slime
A FEW DAYS AGO, MY FRIEND LIZ FELL OVER IN DRAIN SLIME. ALMOST MADE ME PEE LAUGHING BUT DID MAKE ME CRY. God it was funny....Hahahahaha Current Mood:  bouncyCurrent Music: Shut Me Up - Mindless Self Indulgence | | Thursday, June 29th, 2006 | | 11:04 am |
I HAVE FLUFFY HAIR!!!!! >.
FLUFFY HAIR MUAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I woke up at 10...am.... I am STILL tired! Gerrrrr I might be going to Melbourne to see STACEY! Hooray!!! =D!!! I can't waaaaait It's going to be soooo damn awesome. Fairy wings, Jester hats, Purple Boots, Top Hats, Cigarettes, and VODKA. I am HUNGRY FOR STRAWBERRIES. Current Mood:  hungryCurrent Music: Ultra Sex - MSI | | Wednesday, June 28th, 2006 | | 5:49 pm |
For Cal And His Merry Men
This is STILL the same day...*sigh* Cal wanted me to write something nice about him for a change, so here it goes... I love Cal, he is a spectacular person and he makes me Very happy... Hooray. Hahahaha Apposed to how he used to act, his childish ways...*shakes head dissapointingly* But he has changed. He is wonderful now, and a brilliant person to be around. =D Feel better, Cal?? ---- *Cal nodds* HOORAY! I have made my day by making his. *grins* Current Mood:  amusedCurrent Music: Computer noise...STILL! ARGH! MUUUUSIC TIME! | | 5:25 pm |
Copping it sweet.
Bleeeeergh, I had a...Good day...=D I have not poasted to this in a long while, so I will up...date...O_o I WENT TO THE BEACH....Wow...Awesome...I HATE SUN TANS I GOT CUT ON A SHELL...OWWIE I DYED MY HAIR BLAAAAACK...Cool... I CUT MY HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHIT!!!!!! I feel sick...Fuck... I am so tired but I have to go out tonight....COFFEE!!!!!!!! Current Mood:  blahCurrent Music: COMPUTER HUMMING- Lame | | Saturday, May 20th, 2006 | | 8:28 pm |
| | 8:23 pm |
Ah, I threw up RICE.
Ah, the party was BRILLIANT! Gooood drunk days. XD I think I need to dread my hair again...It's not coming out of the knots...But the thing is, you have you...Umm...I HABRE...Gyahahahahaah Let me start again. O_o I have to get all the knots out of my hair before plaiting...DREADDING MY HAIR AGAIN. EVEN THE CHRISTIANS ARE AGAINST US! Current Mood: exhaustedCurrent Music: The Chemicals Between Us - Bush | | Tuesday, May 16th, 2006 | | 6:32 pm |
Chicken flavoured wall paper
I HAVE BEEN SICK FOR ALMOST THREE GOD DAMN WEEKS. I must be dieing... I drew a massive Heartagram on my wall. It looks so damn hardcore. XD DRAAAAAMA tomorroooow HAZAAAAH. Current Mood: restlessCurrent Music: Nirvana - Smells like teen spirit. |
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